Secret. Single. Behavior.

or, SSB as some of you may remember from the ladies of Sex and the City… Carrie with her jelly crackers and fashion magazines; Charlotte with her magnified mirror; Miranda with her vaseline mittens!

We all have SSB, single or not! It is quite possibly the number one reason I enjoy living alone! Here are a few of my favorite secret single behaviors… what is your SSB??

1. Not wearing pants

1. No bra

1. Crackers and cheese in bed

1. Listening to the same song 17 times on repeat

1. 90210 (the new one)

1. Spying out of my window to be nosey

1. Facebook stalking!

1. Did I already say not wearing pants?

1. Dancing in the mirror

1. Sitting down in the shower

1. Candles and dim lights- all just for me!

1. Ordering food for two- all just for me!

1. Getting in my car with no destination

1. Selfies

1. Thrift shopping

1. Bread. SSB carbs dont count!

I won’t tell if you don’t!

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Casual Sex – for the Liberated Lady!

1. No sex before marriage

2. No sex unless you’re in love

3. No sex until the 5th date

Who the hell keeps putting these rules on sex? I mean, seriously. We live in a society that thrives on independence and freedom, yet people still harp on personal choices and sexual encounters of everyone else. 

Personally, I see nothing wrong with casual sex. Sure, no lady wants to be deemed a ~gasp~ tramp, but sleeping with a guy you’re attracted to a few times hardly makes one a whore. What makes anyone think a single female does not, or cannot enjoy some liberating sex as much as the next!!  

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying it’s cool for a chick to lay down for any guy that gives her a second look. There is a difference between enjoying sex to enjoy it, and treating your vagina as a as a free-for-all to bandage up low self-esteem. Sex is still risky business these days, unfortunately. It’s important to take precautions and use good judgement.

Best Practices for Casual Sex:

Be Safe. Are you having sex with someone you know at least a little bit about, or are you picking up a guy you met that night during last call? (One night stands happen. Hell, I am guilty. But don’t make that your M.O.)

Be Smart. Chiseled abs and charm do not equal out an STD. (If you plan on getting down, get your sexy ass to Target for a nice variety of latex!) 

Be Sexy. If you’re craving late night Jack in the Box, have the hiccups, slur your words -or any combo of the 3- you are not in a position to be your ~ultimate sexy self~ you were a few hours ago… especially if this hook-up is not yours! Oh, and do I need to remind you of “Shave your Legs & Be all you can be”?!

Be Casual. Look, if this guy was decent, and charming, and funny, or whatever you fancy, then do not scare him off. Don’t keep this guy trapped in your bed while you discuss past relationships and feelings. Get out, grab some Starbucks, and leave him wanting a little more 😉 

I’d rather be having it than blogging about it!

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“Be Safe. Be Smart. Be Sexy… and in that order!!” – Jeannie, RIP

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Shave your Legs, & Be All You Can Be.

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Let me start by saying that I respect a man in uniform. Those that risk their lives to save a nation.

That being said, I met a ‘sniper’ about a month ago while dressed as a slutty ‘amy winehouse’. It was a Halloween party and this guy was incredibly shy. We chatted it up and ended up all going to a friends house to after party. We  had a Rated G make out session, cuddled a bit, and slept on the couch together. He is one of those super gentleman type guys who is humble, and respectful. Not sure if it is because of his rural Ohio roots, or the influence of serving our country at a young age. Either way, I was attracted.

About a month went by, and we saw each other again this past weekend. I played it cool, but I could tell he not only felt bad for not making an effort to see me again, but was also a little nervous. We all had some drinks and around last call decided to keep the party going. We went back to my house. I really like him. There was no superficial conversation, and we really got into each others minds. We put a movie on – Friends with Benefits. (More cuddling, like, the kind you do when you are super comfortable with someone…).

When I went out earlier in the night, I had no intention of having sex. Plus it was cold. Needless to say, shaving my legs did not cross my mind. We started fooling around a bit and I knew where this was going. I had 1 of 2 options. Deny myself sex with this good looking, sweet, hard bodied guy, with just the perfect amount of tattoos, OR have sex with him but focus my attention on making sure my legs don’t chafe his? Neither thank you!

What self respecting sexual creature would leave herself with such a dilemma. I did the honorable thing. I politely excused myself, letting him know that I would like to shave my legs, and in the meantime could he please go find some music and pour us another round of SoCo cokes.

GOOD CHOICE. I came out silky smooth, and refreshed (at 3am). We listened to some reggae, danced, laughed, and had a GOOD fucking time. In the morning we… ding ding ding!… cuddles more, laughed, and watched college football. We talked as if we had known each other for years. He’s one of those guys you automatically picture yourself with.

Take Away: So what if you find yourself in a delicious situation, but not fully prepared. Be a lady. Shave your legs. Be all You Can Be.

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My Epiphany about Casual Sex – Witty

My Epiphany about Casual Sex – Witty.

These girls are fucking hilarious! If you haven’t checked them out, You should!

 

I do realize I have no followers, but I will. One day. They will thank me!

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